Heartbreak and Happiness
by DrabMiscreant
Summary: Nikki's life seems to be falling apart, will she get the happily ever after she deserves?
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, what's going on here?" Nikki asked as she broke up an argument between Lenny and Lisa.

"Piss off you" Lisa snarled.

"I don't appreciate that sort of language, Mrs Mulgrew's office now" Nikki said firmly, unaware Christine was only around the corner.

"Yeah, well I don't appreciate you sticking your nose in where it's not wanted" Lisa pushed harshly past Nikki, knocking the unsuspecting teacher off balance and causing her to fall down the flight of stairs with a scream.

Lisa froze as she saw her teacher, "What the hell's going on here?" Christine yelled, she'd heard the scream and ran up the stairs as she saw Lenny crouched down over Nikki's crumpled body.

"I'm fine" Nikki mumbled as she sat up, "I lost my footing."

Christine looked at Lisa and Lenny, "you two can wait for me in my office" she said, waiting for the teens to leave before crouching beside Nikki, "are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?"

Nikki shook her head and chose to ignore the pain in her wrist, "I'm okay, I just need a minute."

"Why don't you go home?" Christine asked, "take the rest of the day off." She didn't give Nikki chance to respond before adding, "that's not an offer it's an order."

Nikki nodded, she didn't want to answer any questions, she just wanted to curl up in her bed and never come out again, "thanks Christine."

Christine nodded and held out a hand to help Nikki to her feet, "call me if you need anything Nikki."

"I will" Nikki nodded, even though she knew she wouldn't.

"I better go and sort those two out, take it easy yeah."

"Yeah" Nikki nodded as Christine made her way back towards the office and Nikki stiffly made her way to the PRU to get her bag, her wrist throbbing and every muscle in her body aching. She got her things together and slowly made her way out to the car stopping only at an off licence on her way home.

She dropped her bag on the floor once she was home, placed the bottles from the off licence on the side and made her way to her bedroom where she changed into a pair of plain black leggings and an oversized men's hoodie that still smelt of it's previous owner's aftershave.

Nikki had planned on drinking herself stupid once she was home but instead found herself curling into a ball on her bed, tears rolling silently down her face as she tried to ignore the ache in her wrist and the niggling pain in her stomach.

She didn't sleep that night, she stayed on her bed staring blankly at the plain magnolia wall, the alcohol left untouched in the living room, her phone left uncharged in her handbag.

"Have you seen Nikki?" Christine asked Simon the next morning, "I was meant to meet with her first thing to talk about boxing, it's not like her to be late."

Simon shrugged and didn't look up from the text he was sending Sue, "haven't seen her, have you tried ringing her?"

Christine raised an eyebrow and gestured to the phone in her hand, "it just goes straight to voicemail."

"I dunno then, didn't she skive off early yesterday?"

"She slipped on the stairs, she wouldn't let me call a doctor so I told her to go home yesterday. Do you think I should go round and make sure she's okay?"

"I'm sure Nikki can take care of herself"

Christine shook her head, "I'm going to pop round, you'll be okay to hold the fort for an hour or so wont you?" she asked as she bought up Nikki's home address on her computer and scribbled it on the back of her hand, "or would I be better off leaving George in charge?"

It didn't take Christine long to drive to Nikki's house and she wasn't particularly surprised when she knocked on the door and didn't get a reply. She was however surprised when she tried the door handle and the door swung open easily, "Nikki" she called into the seemingly empty house, "it's Christine." She didn't get a reply and her heart began to pound in fear of what she would find with every door she pushed open and every room she found empty.

"Nikki" she tapped gently on the door to the final room and sighed in relief as she found Nikki curled on the bed, still staring into space, tear tracks dried on her cheeks, "Nikki" she sat down on the edge of the bed and Nikki jumped slightly.

"Christine" she frowned, "what are you doing here?"

"It's 10.30 Nikki, after what happened yesterday I was worried about you, and rightly so by the looks of things."

"I'm okay"

"Your wrist looks sore" Christine pointed out how bruised and swollen it looked.

Nikki nodded, she hadn't noticed, "I landed on it yesterday" she winced as she stretched out her fingers before balling them back into a fist, "I think it might be broken."

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

Nikki shrugged, "not particularly but I suppose I need to go" she said as she sat up from the bed, the simple action of standing up taking more energy than she thought she had, her head felt like it was made of lead and all her muscles protested as she slowly trudged out of her house, not even bothering to pick up her bag. Christine frowned as she watched Nikki walk out of the house and picked up the younger woman's bag from the floor at the bottom of the stairs and locked the door, dropping the keys into the bag.

"It's open" she said softly as she saw Nikki waiting by the car and Nikki nodded silently before slipping into the passenger seat of Christine's car and allowing herself to be driven to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

They drove in silence to the hospital, Christine glancing at Nikki every time she stopped at a red light but the brunette never moved, she stayed curled against the window, her injured wrist clutched to her chest, her head resting on the cool glass as she stared blankly into space. "We're here" she said quietly once she'd found a parking space, "Nikki" she reached out to touch Nikki's shoulder when she didn't get a response.

Nikki jumped before hissing in pain as she jolted her wrist, "sorry, what did you say?"

"We're here" Christine repeated, "at the hospital."

"Right" Nikki got out of the car, "thanks."

Christine carried Nikki's handbag into the hospital, the brunette had simply walked off without it, "why don't you sit down?" she suggested as they walked into the A&E waiting room, "I'll book you in."

Nikki nodded, "thanks" she mumbled without looking at Christine before making her way over to one of the many uncomfortable plastic chairs. "You don't have to stay" Nikki spoke again when, five minutes later Christine sat in the seat beside her, "I'm sure you've got better things to be doing."

Christine shrugged, "I probably have but I'm quite curious to find out how Simon copes running the place" she said, not wanting Nikki to know just how worried she was about her. Nikki nodded again and they sat in silence for almost two hours until Nikki was called back to be seen, and Nikki stayed silent as Christine explained what had happened and why she'd bought her in.

"Okay" the doctor smiled, "if you can just roll up your sleeve I'll take a look" she said with a friendly Australian accent

"Could you wait outside?" Nikki spoke more than a word or two to Christine for the first time since that morning, unable to look the older woman in the eye.

Christine frowned before nodding slowly, "I'll go and call Simon, check my school's still standing."

Nikki nodded silently and waited for Christine to leave before carefully pushing the sleeve of Tom's well worn hoodie up past her elbow revealing the neat rows of scars she'd managed to keep hidden so well.

Christine meanwhile walked out of the building and sat down on a bench in the hospital's gardens. She took a moment to compose herself before taking her phone from her handbag and dialling the school.

"Waterloo Road, Sonya speaking how can I help you?"

"Sonya it's Christine, I need you to organise a sub for me."

"Okay" Sonya was already looking for the number she needed, "what subject and how long for."

"It's for Nikki so a bit of everything, and for the rest of the week at least."

"Is Nikki okay?"

"She's at the hospital, we think she's broken her wrist. I'm sure she'll be fine." Christine decided it would probably be for the best if she didn't mention how worried she was about Nikki's mental health.

"Oh, well, tell her I hope she's feeing better soon, I'll find teachers to cover the rest of her lessons today and see if I can get a sub to start in the morning."

"Thanks Sonya."

"It's what I'm paid for."

After the call ended Christine made her way back towards the small room she'd left Nikki in where she asked a nurse to tell Nikki she was back and sat herself in an uncomfortable chair in the corridor. Sonya however decided that finding a sub could wait and picked up her mobile, dialling a familiar number, "Lo', it's me, I thought you'd want to know that Nikki's in hospital."

Christine sat in the small cubicle whilst the Australian doctor had all but forced Nikki into a wheelchair to take her to xray. The doctor parked the wheelchair by the side of some plastic seats before sitting herself beside Nikki, "I know you won't want me sticking my nose in but I couldn't help but notice your arm and I doubt you're the type of girl that'd be happy with a prescription for some prozac and a few counselling sessions so erm, I really shouldn't do this, but if you ever need to talk about anything, I work odd shift patterns so you might need to leave a message or something but I've been told I'm a good listener" she handed Nikki a scrap of paper with her name and a phone number scribbled on.

"Thanks" Nikki smiled, playing with the paper before folding it against her leg and dropping it into the pocket of the hoodie.

It was another hour before a nurse came to plaster Nikki's wrist. The nurse carefully lifted Nikki's arm from the sling to place on a pillow she'd laid on the bed. Christine's eyes opened wide as she saw the marks on her forearm but didn't say anything until the nurse had left, "did you do that to yourself?" she asked cautiously. Nikki picked at a loose thread on the bed sheet as she nodded slowly. "Can I ask why?" Nikki shrugged, "you know you can talk to me Nikki."

"How would you cope being pregnant with a dead man's baby?" she asked, her mouth speaking before her brain had chance to process the words.

"You, you're pregnant?" Christine asked, the surprise evident on her face.

"Not any more" Nikki said quietly, "I fell on my stomach yesterday, I started having cramps on my way home and then I've been bleeding since last night" she explained, her voice no more than a whisper.

"Oh Nikki" Christine sighed, "I had no idea you and Tom were..."

"We weren't, not officially any way, we just..." she shrugged, "it just happened sometimes, but now Tom's dead, our baby's dead, I might as well be..."

"Don't say that Nikki."

"Why not" Nikki leant back into the pillows as she waited for the doctor to come back and discharge her, "it's true."

Christine had been so worried about Nikki she'd convinced her to, not only take the rest of the week off, but to spend the night in her spare room, she'd never be able to live with herself if Nikki did something stupid, "it's not much but it's all yours" Christine said with a smile as she showed Nikki into the pale green room, "the bathroom's down at the end of the hall, can I get you a drink or anything?"

Nikki shook her head and placed the bag containing a few changes of clothes on the bed, "no thank you, I think I'm just going to bed if that's okay, those painkillers have made me bit drowsy."

"Okay" Christine nodded, "just shout if you need anything" she smiled at Nikki before finally leaving the room.

Once Christine had left Nikki plugged her charger in and curled up on the bed as she waited for the battery to charge enough to turn her phone on. She balanced her phone in the palm of her left hand as she turned it on, her message tone signalling a text almost immediately and she sighed when she saw the notification on her screen '_**1 new message from Lo**_' against her better judgement she opened the text, '_Son told me you were in hospital, hope you're okay, we should catch up some time Lo xx' _Before she even had time to think about replying her phone sounded a tone she wasn't familiar with and another notification flashed up on the screen '_**Facebook: One new friend request**_' Nikki clicked on the link and smiled when she saw the name, an old friend from the army, the only woman she'd had for company for so long in Afghanistan and she immediately accepted the request. Just seconds later yet another notification popped up, a message from the woman Nikki once knew so well.

'Hi'

'Hey'

'I can't believe I've finally found you, you don't mind me adding you as a friend do you?'

'Of course not, I always wondered what happened to you, I wish we'd stayed in touch.'

'Me too : ) I signed up for another tour after you left, lasted six weeks before I got shot and got sent home.'

'Oh God, are you okay?'

'Yeah, it was only the shoulder and it was a long time ago now, I'm all healed and as good as new : )'

'I'm glad to hear it.'

'This might sound a bit forward but would you like to meet for a catch up sometime? Where do you live now?'

'Not forward at all, I'd love to. I'm living in Greenock at the moment, I teach English at the secondary school.'

'You're joking? I live just outside Glasgow! Are you busy this weekend?'

'No, I broke my wrist yesterday, been given the rest of the week of work, no plans at all.'

'How about tomorrow then? I can come to Greenock if it's easier?'

Nikki smiled to herself, 'I'd like that, there's a costa on the high street, I could meet you there?'

'Sure, what time?'

'Whenever's good for you'

'About 11?'

'That's fine. I can't wait to see you again.'

'I can't wait to see you either, I've got to go now but I'll my number's on my profile if you want to text me or whatever and I'll see you tomorrow.'

Nikki smiled, 'I can't wait'

'Neither can I, have a good evening Nik'

'You too.' Nikki replied before Beth went offline and Nikki let her phone fall to the bed with a smile on her face, her day suddenly seeming a million times better.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the delay in updating, I've been doing a lot more hours at work as it gets busier in the run up to Christmas so I haven't really had any time to write fic._

_I'd really appreciate it if you could take a minute to report the following story/user, they've taken a fic that a friend of mine wrote without permission and admitted in their author's note that they won't be giving the original author any credit. The story is called **Clouded Spirit EXTENTION** and the author is** Autograss Girl Racer T18 **__ s/9844371/1/Clouded-Spirit-EXTENSION Thanks :)_

* * *

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Christine asked Nikki as she stood in the kitchen the next morning.

Nikki nodded, "I'm going to meet an old friend for coffee later."

Christine smiled and walked over to the window, taking something from a bowl on the windowsill, "I gave Connor the spare key for the front door when he lost his, this is the back door key, you might have to give the gate a bit of a push" she said as she put the key on the table by Nikki.

"Thank you."

"It's okay" she looked at her watch, "I need to get going but ring me if you need anything."

"Are you sure you don't want me to do anything for you while you're at work? I feel bad about..."

"I just want you to relax and enjoy your coffee with your friend. I'll see you later, I shouldn't be too late."

Nikki waited until Christine and Connor had left before covering her arm in the showerproof cover Christine had found for her, she'd bought it when 10 year old Connor had broken his arm falling off a swing and knew it would come in useful again sometime. Nikki showered and dried herself before laying out the few items of clothing she'd bought on the bed and sighing softly, there wasn't a lot to work with and it was only as she noticed the time that she finally decided on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a plain white tshirt. She dried her hair the best she could before pulling it back from her face, slipping on her shoes, grabbing her jacket and bag and leaving the house via the back door.

Beth walked cautiously into the coffee shop a few minutes later than planned but couldn't help but smile when she saw Nikki sat at a table in the corner "hi" she said softly as she approached.

"Beth" Nikki couldn't help but smile as she looked up before frowning slightly, "you've got a ..."

Beth followed Nikki's gaze to the buggy she'd pushed in, "yeah I have, her name's Maddy, she's seven weeks old, would you like to hold her?"

"No" Nikki said quickly, "no it's okay."

Beth sat opposite Nikki, "is everything okay Nik?" she asked softly.

Nikki shook her head as her eyes filed with tears, "no" she whispered, "it's not okay at all."

"Oh Nikki" Beth reached for Nikki's hand and held it in her own, "is there somewhere more private we can go to talk?"

Nikki nodded, "we can go back to mine."

"Come on then" Beth stood up, "let's go, my car isn't far away."

Beth followed Nikki into the house a while later with Maddy in her buggy, "am I okay to leave her here?" she asked, gesturing to a space in the hallway by the door.

Nikki nodded, her mind obviously on other things, "yeah, that's fine" she said absent mindedly as she walked through to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle.

"Let me do that" Beth said softly as she followed Nikki through to the kitchen and took two mugs from the cupboard the taller woman had opened. Nikki nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, watching as Beth opened all the cupboards to find what she needed, "coffee, milk no sugar?" she asked, remembering how Nikki used to like her coffee.

Nikki nodded as she began to pick at the cotton wool that was under her cast, "please."

Beth made them both a drink before putting the mugs down on the table and carefully lifting Nikki's hand from her cast to stop her picking at it, "do you want to tell me what's going on?" Beth asked softly, still holding Nikki's hand in hers.

"Tom, I, we...friends with benefits, he died before I could tell him I was pregnant" Nikki mumbled as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "but then I fell and I've been bleeding and it hurts. It was all I had left of him" she pulled her hand from Beth's and clutched at her stomach, "it was all I had left of him and now it's gone."

"Oh Nik" Beth sighed as she moved her chair closer to Nikki's so she could wrap her arm around her shoulder, "what did the hospital say?" she asked quietly.

Nikki shook her head, "I didn't say anything".

"You need to be checked out Nikki, I bled on and off the whole time I was pregnant and there's nothing wrong with Maddy, nothing they tell you can be any worse than what you're imagining."

"Will you come with me?" Nikki asked her voice shaky.

"Of course." Beth stood from the chair and held her hand out to Nikki, "I'm not going to let you do this on your own."

Nikki allowed herself to be led to Beth's car and for the second time that day she watched as Beth strapped Maddy into her car seat before climbing into the driver's seat, "she's beautiful" Nikki said quietly as Beth began to drive.

"Thanks" Beth couldn't help but smile, "I think so too but then I am a bit biased I suppose."

"Are you still with her dad?"

Beth shook her head, "I told the git I was pregnant, he was all supportive until I fell asleep that night and then he packed his bags and left, I haven't seen him or heard from him since. She's better off without him letting her down all the time."

Nikki smiled sadly, "I erm, I was surprised when you added me on facebook, I didn't think you'd remember me. This probably isn't the reunion you were expecting."

Beth chuckled, "You thought I wouldn't remember you?" Nikki nodded, "Maddy's middle name is Nikki, only because I thought Maddy Nikki Carter didn't quite sound right. As for the reunion, you've done enough for me in the past, you obviously needed a friend so I think I found you at just the right time."

"Thank you" Nikki said quietly.

"You don't need to thank me Nik, you'd have done the same for me."

They sat in silence for the rest of the journey to the hospital and Beth led her to the maternity department once they were there. She sat Nikki on a chair and put Maddy's buggy by her side before walking over to the reception desk and explaining what had happened.

It was just 10 minutes later when a doctor called Nikki's name. Nikki looked at Beth and Beth could see the fear in Nikki's eyes, "I'll be right there" she promised, "I'm not going anywhere."

The doctor introduced herself to Nikki and Beth before leading them to a small room and explaining the easiest way to find out what was happening would be to perform an ultrasound scan. Nikki closed her eyes as the cool gel was applied to her pale skin, her grip on Beth's hand tightening. Beth stroked the back of Nikki's hand with her thumb as she spoke to the doctor, unaware that Nikki was trying desperately to block out their words.

"Nik" Beth said softly, "open your eyes." Nikki shook her head, "please Nik." Nikki slowly opened her eyes, keeping them trained on Beth, "look at the screen" Beth asked, a small smile creeping on her face, "look at your baby Nik."

Nikki shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I, I can't."

"You can" Beth squeezed Nikki's hand softly, "take a look."

Nikki slowly turned her head towards the screen and burst into tears when she saw the image, "is that...?" she sobbed.

"That's your baby Nikki" Beth said softly, Nikki's gaze firmly fixed on the white blob on the screen.

"And this right here is your baby's heartbeat" the doctor told her, pointing to the right place on the screen, "you're about 13 weeks so you're already out of the first trimester, I'd try and take it easy for a while, at least until the cramps and the bleeding die down but everything looks fine."

"My baby" Nikki whispered.

The doctor smiled, "I'll go and get some paperwork for you to fill in so we can set you up an appointment with a midwife, give the two of you a moment" she said as she handed Nikki a paper towel to clean herself up.

"Beth" Nikki whispered as she wiped at her stomach, her eyes still fixed on the image the doctor had left on the screen.

"Hey" Beth used her thumbs to wipe at Nikki's tears, "I told you it would be okay."

"Thank you."

"It's okay" Beth smiled, "would you like to give Maddy a cuddle now? I'm sure she'd love to meet her Auntie Nikki."

Nikki sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "I haven't...I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't, she's a tough little thing, you don't have to hold her if you don't want to."

Nikki's eyes fluttered back to the screen as she sat up on the bed, "I suppose I do need the practice" she said quietly.

Beth smiled and walked over to the buggy that she'd left in the corner of the room, "when did you wake up hey?" she cooed softly as she lifted Maddy into her arms, "are you going to come and say hello to your Auntie Nikki?" She carried the baby over to Nikki, "here we go, just make sure you support her head and you won't go far wrong."

Nikki let Beth place the baby in her arms and began to sob again, "oh Beth" she whispered.

"That'll be you in a few months time" Beth smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Maddy's hand. She laughed as she saw Nikki panic when Maddy started to whimper, "it's okay, just bounce her a little bit, it's because you're new to her." Nikki did as she was told and began to rock the baby in her arms, smiling softly as she began to settle, "there we go" Beth smiled softly, "you're a natural."

Nikki held Maddy until the doctor came back into the room, the baby now happily gurgling and smiling contently in Nikki's arms, she passed her back to Beth as the doctor passed her some forms and a pen.

She filled in the forms and handed them back to the doctor who checked them over, "I'll get these sorted for you" the doctor said, "and you should have an appointment with the midwife come through in about a week or so, I printed you these off" she said with a smile as she handed over several photos from the scan.

"Thank you" Nikki smiled as she took the photos and slipped them into her handbag before saying goodbye to the doctor and leaving the room with Beth.

"I erm, I stayed at my boss' house last night, she was the one that took me to hospital to get my arm sorted" Nikki explained as they walked out to the car, "I was going to cook dinner for her to say thank you, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you stayed too."

Beth nodded as she walked out of the hospital with Nikki, "I'd like that, thanks."


End file.
